As our retreat in Costa Rica draws near, it’s easy to think that the work begins the moment we step onto the land: When we circle up, dive into practices, and face the exercises designed to stretch us. But in reality, the real journey begins much earlier.
Brotherhood doesn’t start with the first handshake. It begins the moment a man decides to show up, when he chooses courage over comfort, honesty over avoidance, and says yes to stepping into the unknown. That decision alone is a form of work. Even before arriving, the shift has already started: intentions are set, resistance is faced, and life starts to re-arrange itself in preparation for what’s ahead.
It begins in the quiet moments of reflection, in the small choices to pause, notice, and acknowledge where we’ve been holding back and what we are about to experience. It’s in the willingness to recognize our fears, our habitual walls, and our patterns of isolation. Even if no one else knows yet, the internal work of saying “I’m ready” is already really valuable on itself.
The men preparing to gather this week are already connected, whether they’ve met or not. Their stories may differ; some carry burdens of grief, others have been running on autopilot for years, some are searching for clarity, and some simply long for connection. But their choice is the same: to step away from old patterns and step toward growth, authenticity, and presence.
That is the first act of brotherhood: knowing that we are not alone on the path. Even before we stand shoulder to shoulder in circles, the invisible threads of connection begin to form. Every man who says yes to this work has already contributed to the collective energy of the group: He has already begun holding space for others to arrive fully as themselves.
The pre-arrival work is real. Journaling, reflecting, sharing intentions, reaching out to fellow participants, or simply embracing the courage to step away from the familiar and commit to growth; all of this plants seeds. By the time the retreat begins, those seeds are ready to sprout.
By this Friday, the circle will be formed. But the roots of that circle are already planted in every man who said yes, in every man who faced his own hesitation, and in every man who’s been silently waiting for the reminder that he is not alone.
Brotherhood begins before arrival. It begins in decision, in intention, in the courage to step into a space that promises challenge, growth, and truth. It begins in every man willing to show up, long before he sees the faces of those who will walk beside him.
Whether you’re joining us in Costa Rica or following from afar; this energy is already moving. The work has already begun.