Asking the real questions takes honesty: Not the dramatic big questions, but the subtle and uncomfortable ones. In last week’s group call, one of those questions emerged:
What am I doing that doesn’t serve me?
There are things we are doing that we know, deep down, that do not help us achieve our goals. Things that, even if they seem harmless, quietly pull us away from our purpose. They distract us. They delay our process. They drain our energy. Even when we can’t explain it, there is a sharp gut feeling that knows it’s not the right path.
Reflection helps us understand what our gut feeling already knows, and separate what’s helping from what’s holding us back. When we take a moment to pause and look honestly at how we’re spending our time and energy, patterns emerge and become easier to work on. Here we have a couple of questions that can help make that progress easier:
What am I procrastinating?
It might seem like a simple question, but when we really ask ourselves what we’re avoiding, the answer usually comes fast and honestly. From there, we can focus on different follow-up questions to go even deeper. Why am I procrastinating? Is it discipline, or is it that the thing I’m avoiding isn’t truly aligned with me? Action is the counter-attack towards procrastination: If we decide something has to be done, and get to it instead of thinking about doing it, we immediately focus and finish a tedious task before we even realize we began doing it in the first place. Once we get clear on that, the next step is looking at the patterns behind it.
What habits or routines am I holding onto that actually keep me stuck?
This question is deeper and helps us look into our cycles. There are routines we built to help us start moving, that later on we find out don’t serve us anymore. Breaking old routines and changing old habits is never an easy task. Old habits die hard, after all. But finding out what habits serve you and which habits keep you away from your purpose is a must-do for anyone taking their time and energy seriously. Having a group of people that you trust will hold you accountable towards your own goals is a great way to break these routines, as most times when we don’t realize we are falling into old patterns, these people do.
What actions feel safe but are keeping me small?
This question goes hand in hand with the previous one, as it helps us map our comfort zone. Actions that feel safe often come from our comfort zone, and growth will never come from there. We have to step outside of it, face the challenge, and find out who we are out there. More often than not, the actions that move us forward start as uncomfortable ones; because they stretch us into something new. Once we identify them and realize what must be done in the name of growth is that we truly can focus on the tasks ahead.
The last question might be the most important:
What are the things that do serve me?
What are the practices, the mindsets, the steps that bring me closer to who I want to become? Closer to my goals, to my clarity, to my truth?
Once we identify what pulls us towards our purpose, and what keeps us away from it, we have a clear map of where to put our energy, time and efforts. With just one honest conversation with ourselves, facing our own harsh questions and answering them heart in hand, we can fine-tune our compass toward where we want to go.
After all, this isn’t about judging ourselves. It’s about getting real and knowing where to go. It’s about becoming aware of the gap between where we are and where we want to be, and deciding to build a bridge with truth and intention.
Growth doesn’t always begin with doing more.
Sometimes, it starts with letting go of what no longer serves.